Lately I guess I’ve been writing a lot about the dark side of art brain, the side we can be reticent to talk about in polite conversation,where even the most well-meaning of friends and close contacts are put upon to come up with immediate solutions and earnest attempts to help you climb out of the well you’ve fallen into. . .
or gloss things over with words of encouragement you’re not quite ready to hear.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but that kind of awkwardness just makes me want to hide like a dying animal. Because I am fairly certain that in a depressed state of mind, I’m about as much fun to be around as a road-kill barracuda. . .
which would be a fitting metaphor if killer fish could swim across asphalt.
At any rate, I digress.
At some point in my self-imposed exile with time off to go and teach, pockets stuffed with diet coke and kleenex for weeping over the current state of readiness for post-secondary education. . ..
At some point after having talked my feet into moving across the bedroom floor to the barnyard. . .I must get back on the horse and try to ride it out somehow. . .
and as I am too poor to own a horse or even a saddle, I’m trying the only kind of sustenance there is (aside from brainwashing and following the teachings of Constantinian Capitalist Jesus, no relation to the actual guy who was closer in his political affiliations to George Thorogood than the other George if you take the time to actually study the man, which most people in this state of mind cannot be bothered with . . .)
when we live at the bottom of the food chain. . .
and that salvation comes from a saturation of the angriest, craziest, anti-establishment sex, drugs, rock and roll blues one can download onto a cd.
And to supplement that activity, and in the interest and respect for the dual nature of humanity, yin and yang, instant karma, etc. ..I have also found these little self-empowerment and law of attraction gems of youtube to be kind of helpful so I’m trying to get back into them. No seriously. There was a time when they were actually helping some. 🙂 (Significantly more than those cozy little end of days numbers put out by “Doing it with Betty.” )
In the meantime, thank God for apples, hay, and Idiot Wind at your back: