Tess F’s Most Excellent List of Superheroes Who Do Not Exist, But You Really Wish They Did

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman (Photo credit: Looking Glass)

(Note to parents: This post contains openthroated gut spiattering emo stuff nobody wants to let themselves see let alone the kids looking over their shoulders.  You might want to close your eyes for this one)

OK so it will probably take awhile for me to come up with more of an actual list here, but I just really needed to get this off my chest and say that I am tired of doing everybody else’s job instead of mine right now,

and that is being a  hideous sycophant to the point of no return, free to roam the earth and lick the shoes of mean people everywhere:

Ahem. So here is number one and if you want more, you will just have to invent them yourself because I am spent from trying to digest most copious amounts of wax and lacquer:

Tess F’s Excellent List of Superheroes Who Don’t Exist, But You Really Wish They Did

And the Reasons Why We Need Em:

1.Tess F’s Most Excellent and Much Needed Frankenterminator and How!!!

Reason A: We need somebody to ice that guy Frank because he never has anything productive to add to the conversation.

Reason B: There is no reason B.  Reason A is reason enough.:) ibid et al see the reason below:

“Madam, may I please be be Frank?”

“Don’t call me Madam.  I am not the kind of a girl.”

“Mademoiselle, please.  I simply must be frank.”

“Ummm, well hmm. ..Mademoiselle is much Frencher and I like French, but tell me this first please: what happens to YOU when Frank takes over?.”

“Well, you might not like what I am about to say, but alas I feel I must be. . .”

The League of Frightened Men (1937 film)

Image via Wikipedia

“Oh, whoa. Dear me.  Somebody please save me from the awfulness of truth!”

Dun Da Da Presto!  Enter Frankenterminator

“FrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttTTTTTTTTT

fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffrittitittatfirtitittatffffffffffffffffffffffffit.

I’ll be back!

There.  Aren’t you glad I invented him?  Now you can be an idiot all you want and nobody will be the wiser.  :But especially you.

OK.  My job is over for today.  Now it’s your turn.

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2 responses

  1. I have a friend on Facebook who occasionally posts his favorite bear/twink/woof (which I learned is a masculine gay male) of the day, and this morning his post was a man named Frank. The first thing that popped into my mind was: Frankenterminator.
    Almost made me feel homophobic, then I was like: Meh, just killing Frank because he never has anything productive to add to the conversation.

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