So Here it is. . .After Math: The Outcome of the Creative Writing God Class Experiment

Winnie the Pooh

Winnie the Pooh (Photo credit: Berto Garcia)

In my last post, I explained how I had recently given a very simple in-class creative writing assignment, one in which students were instructed to write the word “God” at the top of the page and afterwards just let the words fall underneath it; two plus one is one  according to Stevens: no boundaries, no judgements.  Just words.

And after I published that story, I received a response from a fellow blogger  asking for a follow-up article, so here it is after math, the outcome of the creative writing god class experiment.

Intially, the “God” experiment had been a crescendoing success I believed.  First we spent some time looking at  works examining the realm of spirituality, works from Blake and Whitman to Ginsberg and spoken word, at the same time allowing students to come up front and google things they liked as well. .. and I left class that day feeling as if an enormous shake-weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  First came a sigh of relief, which was deep and gratifying.

Hieronymus Bosch study 200706

Hieronymus Bosch study 200706 (Photo credit: DUCKMARX)

And then came the fear, self-loathing and sur-reality.

English: Painting by Hieronymous Bosch of Hell.

Image via Wikipedia

But then came the time to reconvene and read them.

Thursday, 2 pm:

It was unexplored territory to say the least. I mean, the topic HAD come up before in class, many times, and in these days with their debates and almost no separation of church and state, it’s unrealistic to think we can just be mum about it.  And as you read this, know there is a big pink elephant in the middle of the webpage as well.  It is letting go a lot of flatulence and somebody has got to address it before we all pass out from holding our breath. (And if it seems like I try too hard to avoid any kind of conflict in the classroom whatsoever, even in an academic setting, wherein the default was and always has been science and empirical evidence,  then I guess I should point out that I am also untenured faculty.  I CAN’T just point to factual information and tell them to change the subject. In these straits, I am not at liberty to make anyone unhappy in that classroom!  Because such acts of real or imagined exclusion can lead to the hugeness of mutinies, mutinies to registered complaints, then bad evaluations.

Winnie the Pooh (film)

Image via Wikipedia

And without the protection of tenure, under such circumstances wherein an anonymous citizen’s arrest has just been registered, you stand alone before the higher ups.  And the truth is,  there is no defense.  For the most part, you just don’t get called back the next semester. This has been a double-edged sword I have learned to swallow with both hands. On the one hand, it’s incredibly painful to be aware of such intense scrutiny from my students, but on the other, I am thankful for that accountablity.  It makes me stop and think before  I say a word to anyone, and even though I do get it wrong a lot, I like that I am trying harder too.  🙂 )

Hieronymus Bosch

Hieronymus Bosch (Photo credit: rocor)

Sometimes it would be smooth sailing and others just like Scylla and Charybdis, and in having had no prior training in peace-keeping and mediation in these matters, I flailed around in trying all kinds of awkward methods to diffuse the difficulties around it,  everything from banning any kind of cross talk to inviting everyone to share to the point of free-for-all. . .the latter ironically though more painful and more trouble with evaluations and complaints, at the same time MUCH more gratifying than the former I must say,

And as I coached on how to proceed this time, I felt myself needing to pay very close attention to my own advice. Truth be told, I can’t remember what I said exactly, but I do know this is how I had hoped to come across and that is:

“OK, so here’s what let’s do.  Let’s try to keep in mind that this is just exploration.  We’ve all just had some time to be free with our thoughts and just express whatever wells up inside as we write.  So let’s try to keep the non-judgemental frame around this.  Because everybody has their own journey.  And this is just about sharing what has happened along the way.  There’s no right way or wrong way to behave about any of this.  There is only putting one foot in front of the other and taking notes as we go.  So here we go. Let’s do that, shall we?”

At first the room was quiet, but that did not last very long.

And honestly, at this point I really must confess to having been so discombulated from focusing on getting this right that as I try to recall what happened, I don’t even remember who went first.

What I do remember most at the beginning was pausing to offer some encouragement.

To someone who seemed both anxious to get a chance to unburden his thoughts but also rather reticent at the prospect of being judged in doing so.

And in his reticence, it just made everyone else all the more curious. ..curiousity that led to a bit of prodding, followed by a show of support and reassurance.

And so he read.  Head bent down a bit at first and voice trembling, but as the room grew quiet and the other students leaned forward to listen, the words grew louder and clearer.

And then it happened, beginning with him. ..until all those freewrites just spilled into the room like light breaking on still waters.

Afterwards, and I guess in seeing that he was able to vent without getting struck down by Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God, everyone else just seemed that much more eager to share their own stories.  And at times the room would fall silent too.  And there were some very awkward pauses followed by my own attempts to make bridges and find common ground.  Mostly I was groping though.  Just feeling around and watching faces to make sure I wasn’t leaving anyone out and alienated.

--Kathe Kollwitz

But for the most part I felt good about how we all found ways to  navigate those waters and keep afloat during such a challenging passage.  And also proud of how well we all had handled it as a learning community, their sweetness and sensibilites intact as we left together that day.  It was all good.

In retrospect and in all honesty, I still feel a little bit heart-broken about the ones in the back, the ones who seemed the shyest to speak.  I still feel the need to work on helping them to feel safe enough as to share all the facets of what they are feeling and I also believe that it will be amazing when they do, so that part is next on my agenda.

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Losing my Religion: On Finding the Divine on the Road to Learning

Yesterday in my creative writing class, I gave an assignment that asked students to write the wordGod” at the top of the page and freewrite on it.  No rules.  No boundaries.  Just an exploration of that word.

And when I ask something so big of them, I think it only fair that I ask myself to do it too.

(In the past I learned  the importance of participating in those  free-writing assignments from my department chair who cheerfully passes along a good many lesson plans and classroom strategies. And for this most insightful advice, I am truly grateful.)

As a result, I found this inclusive student/teacher exercise to be a most gratifying experience for a couple of reasons.

Number one first and foremost, freewriting is  fun-time  and I find  that if I model some kind of industrious task-oriented behavior during this period, then I’m more or less contradicting myself by setting a hypocritical example.  🙂

And that’s no way to get on with the business of sharing the joy of learning.

But lately, I have been a lot pre-occupied with thoughts that just take me to a place that I ought not go.

William Blake, from the notebooks

So I’ve been shirking my responsibilities a little as mentor.

And in this transgression from my duties as well forgetting that no matter what transpires between the two of us, the bottom line is that the student is internalizing this from experience, which, up to now, has always been the best teacher:

“Do as I do, not as I say.”

And when I think of my own learning experiences, that is how it always worked anyway.  I mean, I loved being taught.  Loved my teachers, all of them, even the ones still struggling with themselves to be patient and such, because they taught me other things I needed to know as well.  Things like being organized with numbers and keeping to a schedule.  I mean, these are respectable behaviors that must be tended to as well.

Sadly the point was often lost on me as I always picked up on some other kind of unhappiness in that exchange and it usually made me run from any kind of discomfort that might reinforce it in myself.  So the lesson got lost on me a lot.

I always knew they meant well though.  And I loved them just the same.

I don’t think there is any such thing as a bad teacher.  Just some in need of a bit more love and support themselves it would seem.  I mean, if you look past that sometimes inscrutable and unforgiving face, you can and will see a softer one.  It’s there if you’re willing to look.  The little girl at three years old, her hands having just been slapped for putting them in the light socket.

She knew that Mommy meant well in doing it, meant to save her from the ultimate separation between parent and child.  If anything ever happened to elicit such a misalignment of the stars, then Mommy would fight like a tiger to stop that.  Even if it meant seeing the tears of disappointment on on the face of someone so close, so innocent and vulnerable.  Those words we all wish to avoid at any given time in our tenure as parents.  “Mommy, why?”

Alas, there was a second lesson in that interaction, one that Mommy in her infinite longing to understand, might never have anticipated and that was “If you explore too much, then you will get punished.”

And so it begins, the cycle of learning and punishment.

Followed by rebelliousness and breaking away.

Which in turn leads to more of the same.

And where on earth could we have gone so terribly wrong as to keep that inefficient system alive for so long?

After all, we came into this world, every single one of us, with two very basic means of understanding and those were

A. To love and be loved.

And B: To learn and share what we have learned.

And so I offer up for you this other kind of scenario to ponder, one in which the child’s learning experience leads her to a pile of excrement in the back yard, the one wherein the dandelion is sprouting up so proudly beside it, and in her excitement to share, she just leans down and kneels to it.  A supplicant in awe of the innerworkings of this earth.  That for every pile of shit, there is a rebirth that follows and flowers after it.

It is the way of the world after all.  Birth, Death, Rebirth.

And without all three of these elements, there simply is no way to understand the divine.

So now I sit here before the laptop and freewrite and let the words fall where they may.  No beginning or end to speak of, just being.

Pastel, Petals, and Channeling Van Gogh: The Emerging Works of Mallory Maves

Today’s artist’s interview features yet another blossoming talent from the Woesthaus night school of play and painting, another new friend and true kindred spirit, already drawing near and dear
to my heart. . .who like myself also too, has come to embrace a passion for
petals and pastels.

I met Mallory last spring. . .when the snow was thick on SWIC pavement. . . and we all propped our canvases close to one another trying to find some warmth in the midst of those Midwestern crows and cornfields. 😉

Mallory was the quiet one who smiled all the time. . .with a painting style very much like the artist
herself, overflowing with an abundance of warmth and sensuality.

You could just stand and watch her dab and dance around the canvas all day. . .her energy is so
inspiring too!

So on with the questions now! Just sit back and enjoy the wild ride!  (and do try to forgive this spacing format.  i am not sure how these line breaks happened with wordpress. . .can’t seem to delete them either.  very mysterious!)

 

*************************************************************************************************
1. Introduce yourself…Tell me about your background.

What events led up to your life in art-making?
I don’t quite remember when I first became interested in art. I was home
schooled from 4th grade all the way through high school, and we always had art
classes with friends.  I remember I loved copying photos because I loved drawing
peoples faces. I would try to get my drawing to look just like the photo, and I
would always get so mad if it didn’t look just right.
I didn’t really start getting into the “artistic” side of drawing until I
started college at Southwestern Illinois College. I have loved every single art
class I’ve taken at SWIC. I really wanted to branch out and learn what I could
do with different medias, so I took as many art classes as possible. I loved
drawing, which I knew, so I took every drawing classes possible including the
studio classes. I then went on to design, photo, ceramics, and painting. I feel
like every art class I took influenced how I perceived my drawing later. I
graduated SWIC 2011 with a double associate’s of AFA and AA.
“Rose”  and “Van Gogh’s Shoes” oil on canvas, Mallory Maves
2. How do you get your hands and feet wet and dirty? What media / material & process do you like best, and why?
I prefer to draw, I use mostly graphite and charcoal, I’ve never been a
huge fan of color pencils. I like to make things as big as possible. When I was
younger I would work on things 8×10 or 5×7 because it was faster to finish
and easier to get done. Now that I understand the amount of detail that can go
into a piece just by upgrading the size to 30×36 or even larger, it makes me
feel that the time that it takes to fill the space is worth it just so I have
the perfect ending to my journey with the piece.
I feel like drawing is a very controlled art which I like, but painting is
what I really let loose with. My friend often says she loves to watch me paint
because I make such and mess around me. Splatters of paint will speckle the work
space around me, and the clothes that I wear, she just thinks it’s so
funny.

Mallory's palette

3. You know, Hemingway wrote a whole book around his experiences trying to feed himself in Paris as a starving artist. ..Do tell about your experiences.   How and what DO you feed
yourself?
I’m almost like a Rothko who only ate cheap Chinese or nothing while
working on a piece. I will go days without eating while working on a piece, not
because I can’t afford it, but because I can’t pull myself out of the “trance”
it has me in. When I do emerge to eat it’s a quick cheap meal that I can quickly
eat before starting again. I also like to drink wine while I paint. During the
“fasting” time I “feed” myself with music, and books, and sources. It is
important to be educated in the world around you so that can convey itself in
your art.
4. Now that you have some food in your stomach, tell me a bit about your process.
Do you have a ritual to get things started?  Comfort stuff. . .listening material?
Just like Audrey Kawasaki I do everything on my floor. When painting, I sit
on the floor in my room and prop my canvas up on the wall. For drawing, I like
laying my drawing board with paper on top right in the center of my floor
and kneel over it, it feels natural to me. I hate easels, I hate standing, and I
even hate sitting in chairs. When I do art I feel like I need to be at one with
myself and the best way to do that is to have no distractions, just me and the
floor.
I feel like music and art go hand in hand alot of the time. Music can be
very influential in the artistic process. I will listen to things based on my
mood or the mood of the piece. I normally loop the same albums over and over
depending on what the piece is making me feel. A common CD is “Lungs” by
Florence and the Machine, I could have the CD on repeat for hours and still not
get tired of it. Other that that I will listen to Bjork, Radio Head, TV on the
Radio, and sometimes even Ke$ha (just for fun).
5. What inspires you most?
People! People’s bodies, People’s music, People’s emotions, People’s
thoughts, even the decomposition of a person,  anything that has to do with
someone can and will inspire me. I’m working on a series right now completely
inspired by the expressions on woman’s faces after they die. Although from the
outside this sounds like a graphic horrific task I find the decomposition of the
body to be beautiful when painting. There are so many colors and so many things
the paint can do.  Each “dead woman” will tell a different story just by
the expression in their eyes and face. I’m hoping this will draw in the viewer
and create a thought process to discover the poor soul’s story. Make
people wonder what happened?
I have two oil paintings I am working on in the series, neither of which
are finished. By the time I am done I hope to have 15 drawings and
paintings.
6. How have you evolved in your process?  What learning experiences have had the biggest
impact?
ALL learning experiences have an impact. I have found painting, photo,
ceramics, even make up design to help me with my drawing and vise versa. The
number one thing I would tell anyone that helps is take a design class if
someone is able to. It really helps with a persons artist vocabulary,
the composition of a piece, and even dabbles a bit in color theory. Other than
that I really feel in is important for a person know history, literature, even
biology, everything in life that can be leaner can also be conveyed into an
artistic experience.

"Silence in Film," oil on canvas, Mallory Maves

7. If you could do dinner with any creative person , dead or alive, who would it be and where would you go to dinner?
Mark Ryden hands down! Ryden is a pop-surrealist painter who first started
out in the 1990’s, his work is just breathtaking. He uses his intellect to
create these beautiful paintings of dewy vixens, and random symbolism. I
would probably take him to sushi? Ryden had a solo exhibition in Tokyo in 2003
so I feel like sushi would be a good fit to his interests, plus I just love
sushi.

8. What would you order and what questions would you ask?
Tamago, Inari, Salmon, Tuna, maybe some spicy crunchy tuna rolls? And a
good white wine of course!
I would probably ask him just how he does it? How does he make an image
that evokes so much feel using every day items, such as meat? I would want to
who what his inspiration is as well. Why dose he create
such ridiculous worlds?
9. Now that you have made your marks, pass the torch. ..what advice do you have for emerging
artists?
Go to school, and finish college. I LOVED every college art class I ever
took!!! Also, listen to your teachers! My teachers would drive me so hard to get
more out of me, and although it gets hard to listen and even go to class at
times, they know what they are talking about. Artists especially young ones
often think we don’t need help, but that is not the case, there’s always room
from improvement. So If a teacher says get an artist statement, make one! If
they say go home and drink a cup of tea then draw the leaves at the bottom DO
IT! They know what they are talking about and it’ll make you a better artist in
the end.
The only thing that is kind of controversial that I myself find does not
work for me is keeping an artist journal. I love writing, but I HATE drawing and
planning things out before I start them, I love to just dive in, but every time
a teacher has asked me to do one I’ve done it.
10. For your burgeoning fan club!  Please tell us where we can find
you online.

Right now the only
place I have my art up is my own private facebook. I’ve thought about making a
SLART page or a fan page on facebook but I’m afraid of any backlash or people
not understanding my art.

Maybe once I begin school at SIUE this fall and bulk up my portfolio
alittle more I will think about  making my art public.

Work, Work, Work

Been really busy with my Etsy site.  So much to do to get exposure.  Artists gotta pay the rent too.  😉

Yesterday it was soooo cold here, too cold to garden brrr. .. so I got to work writing curriculum for Summer Eng 101 and Fall Creative Writing. . .and put down some preliminary strokes for my new iris painting in progress.

Tired!  But here is my newly listed painting:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/74885038/expressionist-flower-and-lace-botanical

And in honor of Isadora Duncan’s birthday, here is my collage tribute to her:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/48766767/vintage-inspired-isadora-in-the-upturned?ref=tre-4ddfac29eebe6d91cf50a8dd-14